


The Odd Job Kid

by Littlenaga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brat adult dynamics, Gen, Hinata dies a little from emotions, M/M, Mentions trash kings in passing, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3490637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlenaga/pseuds/Littlenaga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata Shouyou, he is the volleyball machine, young and sweet, only seventeen. He comes in to look for a King, anybody could be that guy. Except the extremely intimidating next door cranky not very old man Kageyama who he just happens to spike his favorite volleyball in and- oh shit – that was definitely the sound of something expensive breaking. Please let him not be home. Pleaselethimnotbehome pleaselethimnotbehomepleaselethimHE IS HOME.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jump Serve into my Home

            It happens on a Monday. Of course it happens on a Monday. If Saturdays were gifts from the most broad-winged seraphim in high heaven; Mondays were the shit that stained the backside of Satan.

            Hinata tries not to be biased. He really truly does try. In fact, he tries exceptionally hard today. This is because this Monday, while still equivalent to fecal matter and the wastelands of oblivion, is the Holy Grail of all other Mondays.

           Yes, it is Spring Freaking Break. Not just one day, not even just two days. Hinata could get exceptionally greedy because in his schooling district, Spring Break is not limited to one week. In good Shakespearean tradition, he gets a whole gosh darn fortnight off! Hum Hallelujah and praised be the sun, because today was also an absolutely beautiful day for volleyball. Not only that! It’s only going to rain two or three times during the entire break and Hinata could not- and would not- hide his sheer excitement.

            His signature grin slides seamlessly onto his face as he tosses his shiny volleyball in the air, the momentum allowing the ball to spin forward a little before falling back down into his outstretched arms. In his excitement, he also decides to flat out strip. Now, before there are any misunderstandings, Hinata Shouyou is, by no means, a stripper, streaker, or disturber of the general peace. First, he kicks off his annoying shoes one after the other and relishes the feeling of the cool bruise green grass tickling his naked feet. Then, he reaches back for the collar of his orange tag shirt; pulling it over his head with some difficulty. It’s a tight fit, but his head eventually fits through the opening- his head popping out first followed by a great orange floof of hair. In a stupendous show of self-restraint, he only readjusts his sports shorts with his fingers rather than take them off altogether.

             The newly half-naked boy sighs, just enjoying the coolness of the grass in combination with the warmth of the sun already beating down on his exposed skin. He waits a few minutes, just basking in the feeling of leafy nature all around him before retrieving the new volleyball he had carelessly tossed to the ground during his impromptu naked making.

             Just once, he thought, this would finally be the promised ‘Heavenly Monday’ he had perceived it to be. Perhaps Hinata Shouyou, unlucky seventeen year old, should have knocked on some nearby wood. Today would, as prophesized by the weatherman on Newschannel 7, be a day of great unexpected change. Hot, hot winds from the north, and frigid blue air from the south clashing with nail and tooth- a promise for collateral damage days in advance.

             Hinata’s regiment started out innocently enough. There wasn’t much a volleyball player could do without a net, a team, or a machine. As much as he liked to toss to himself, or rather as much as he loved volleyball, simply throwing the ball and volleying by himself became extremely dull after the first ten minutes.

            Hinata is in one of those moods. Everyone gets them, usually at the worst times as well. This Monday, it gives him a great feeling of ‘I am invincible. I am Shouyou and I am a ball of fucking fire. I will do what I want now and I will probably face the consequences later, but I am a fucking ball of fire and balls of fire do not think about the future. Yeah! Watch me do this cool thing I saw on TV once.’

             Last week, he had seen the most awesome thing on TV. This brown haired man, (who came off as a trash prince on camera), jumped into the air like he was flying- posed in mid-flight like a trophy- and literally slammed the ball into his enemies with this amazing monster jump serve. The only thing on Hinata’s mind at that time and now were, “That’s so cool! I want to do it too!”

              In preparation, Shouyou wiped the sweat that had accumulated across his palms onto his shorts and took a few steps back. He tossed the ball into the air once and nearly fell in his haste to run after it. The ball had arched too far forward he noted with his face in the ground. He brushed himself off and tried again. This time, the ball floated up beautifully in the perfect position to slam. He dashed forward to get into position—there! The ball just perfectly floated above him and reached its crest. He jumped- all with the plan to intercept the ball halfway; his fist clenched in anticipation. With all the force of his body behind it, he flung his right fist forward expecting the ball to collide with his fist and fly straight across his lawn to the other side of the street. In a fraction of a second, his fist slammed into the ball at an extreme angle and it veered to an outrageous left. Hinata’s eyes widened in unparalleled fear as, in almost painful slow-motion, he traced the misfire trajectory of his volleyball as it made a raging beeline for his neighbor’s yard.

                 He does not feel his feet touch the ground underneath him when he lands. The only thing he can sense is his impending death. He feels more than hears the crystal crash as he sees the volleyball come into contact with his neighbor’s glass figurines. He feels his own bones crack as the beautiful sculptures of crows and cats shatter into a million pieces.

               “Shit!” was the only thing that could come out of his mouth. He did not even have time to pray to whatever god would listen to him. The patio door opened like a can of very shocked, then very angry worms. Kageyama, his grumpy neighbor of five years, entered the scene. Kageyama stared at his broken figurines. All was deathly still. Hinata only snapped out of his trance when he felt dark blue eyes burning a hole into his entirety. Only then did true terror strike his very core. A tiny scream caught in his throat as he could feel the grass around him withering under Kageyama’s threatening rage-filled eyes. He froze in place even as alarm bells began to ring inside his brain.

              His neighbor looked even more intimidating as he sauntered over with a promise of death carved into his horribly twisted scowl. Hinata began to quake once his neighbor was finally looming only a foot away from him- a dark vibe emanating from him and killing everything in its wake. At that very moment Hinata sorely wished that he had not stripped earlier in the day. He felt absolutely vulnerable while half naked, and had the overwhelming urge to cover his chest from Kageyama’s piercing glare. However, if he moved a single inch he would either one) piss himself or two) get beaten up then piss himself. He flinched as his neighbor slowly lifted his right fist; shaking in rage all the while. Or was he the one shaking? Or was the ground shaking? Everything was shaking.

           ‘ _Oh please mercy on my soul and make it quick.’_ He could feel his nervous pinkish flush, a nervous reaction he had not outgrown, travel from his face until it slowly migrated to his stomach where it stuck like a living stone.

             “Hinata.”Kageyama said through clenched teeth. “Do you know what you just FUCKING did?”

            This was it. This was the end. Hinata could feel the world going black around the edges. He waited as Kageyama’s eyes bore into his bowed skull and opted to not answer the most obvious and pressuring question of the century. If he was sweating beforehand he was practically melting now; and not in a good wrapped up in blankets way; more in a Satan and is pouring hot tar onto your skin way.

              Before he knew what he was doing he began to run- only making it about three steps away before his legs locked up from Kageyama’s angry shout.

            "Ack!" Hinata let out a shrill scream as he fell to the floor with his legs refusing to budge.

           “Oi, you Fucker!” Hinata lay on the ground in petrification with his legs as useful as half-refrigerated jelly. Kageyama was officially the scariest thing on this earth and Hinata was sinking into some really deep shit. Oh, ow, his stomach was really hurting now.

        Well, there was no time like now for Hinata’s most embarrassing last resort. In an astounding display of dignity, Hinata Shouyou began to cry- loudly. His little body shook from the hiccups intermittent between sobs.

           “I hate—MONDAYS!!!” He whined as he rubbed at the tears flowing freely from his eyes. “I. (hic) ‘m sorry!!”He felt so embarrassed. Here he was, a half-grown ass man crying on the ground half-naked all because he hit a jump serve in the wrong direction. If Tsukishima were here, he’d probably be poking fun at him right now.

             Kageyama, on the other hand, felt absolutely awkward. The scowl had completely melted off his face in favor of a mask of pure panic. He didn’t mean to make the guy cry! He could not handle crying people- nonetheless his unusually sunshiny neighbor. Oh jeez, how do you get people to stop crying? He was still pretty pissed off that all of his prized possessions were in pieces, but he could not do crying people. Scared people? Yes, of course. Crying on the other hand was a total nightmare.

             “AHH!”Kageyama nearly shouted and Hinata only cried louder in response. He couldn’t say anything without terrifying the crying thing further. Oh my god, this was not good. If Hinata did not stop crying soon, Kageyama would have a break down too. “Ohhhh nooo. No, Hinata, you start crying on me and I’ll- um, I’ll tell your mother! Yeah! I won’t tell on you.”He began to bargain now in desperation- his voice barely above a whisper. This seemed to calm him down enough to speak coherently.

             “Don’t tell my mom, Kageyama! She’s gonna kill me after you kill me! I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll do whatever you want, I promise! I’ll pay you back.”Hinata’s crying had decreased substantially until all was left was some sniveling.

            Kageyama acquiesced immediately. “Ok! Ok! I told you already, just, Hinata, stop crying.” Kageyama sighed in frustration. Why did it feel like he was bargaining even now? “Just, come by my house tomorrow and we’ll figure out the costs. I’m not going to kill you and I won’t tell your parents, is that okay?” Kageyama sounded like a parent as Hinata could only nod numbly to his words.

             “Alright, well, um. Put your clothes on and go home. And clean your face. You look like hell. And don’t think I’m going to go easy on you just because you cried.” Kageyama tried to sound stern on his last note, but he knew deep inside that if Hinata were to cry again, he would definitely do whatever he could to stop it. In retrospect he thought that a single person should not have that much power over him.

             He fusses around Hinata like a mother bird; picking up his shirt and shoes and handing them to him to wear again before deciding, against his better judgment, to let him get cleaned up in the bathroom at his house before returning home.

             Hinata had muttered a subdued ‘thanks’ before leaving his house, now fully clothed and with only slightly red eyes as evidence for what had happened earlier today.

If this was what parenthood was like, Kageyama would forfeit children forever. He did not, and would not, want to go through this again. 


	2. Payback and Hinata's Misfortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata finds out how much those glass figures that he obliterated were worth and proceeds to die.

Hinata couldn’t help but sigh sadly as he pulled out the money jar from his bedside cabinet. It was a clear jar filled with both copper and iron colored yen coins and paper bills, notes to himself as well, all scrunched up in a haywire fashion. He peered at his savings of over a year as he tossed the jar around in his palms; the money inside jingling and crumpling up as he disturbed it. He didn’t think of himself as materialistic, but the thought that all of his hard earned money would be given to Kageyama today still sucked. This was his hard earned money. He wanted to buy some nice volleyball gear by himself—and maybe a nicer laptop than the cruddy windows vista litter box on his desk.

            With a sigh, he put it inside his bag and began to make his way over to Kageyama’s house.

            “I’m going over to a friend’s house mom! Is that alright?” He shouted as his hand rested on the handle of the door. It wasn’t the complete truth, but it was not a flat out lie either. A house was where he was going to. Whether it housed a friend or foe was still very much in the air.

            “Sure, Shouyou, just remember to be back for dinner!” His mom shouted from inside the house.

            “Ok, bye mom!” And with that, he walked out the door; coins jingling in his bag, a sound that would usually cause him a light happiness had he not known that his coins would not be his own for much longer.

            As he makes his way over the short distance to his next door neighbor’s house, Hinata thinks about how absolutely screwed he is. Even though his savings feels overwhelmingly heavy in his bag, deep within his soul, he knows that it is very likely not enough to bring him out of his debt. Just walking outside every day, he sees those intricate glass figurines just asking to be spirited away from Kageyama’s backyard. He doesn’t think that Kageyama is rich; otherwise he would be in a far better neighborhood with skyscraping palm trees and personal lakes or whatever else. BUT, _but_! Unfortunately for himself, he does think that those figurines had to have cost a fortune!

            They were so pristine and unique. Hinata had never seen any like them even when he went window shopping with his parents or his senpai. Never! Oh no, what if they were actually a family heirloom? Wait, has he ever even seen Mr. and Mrs. Kageyama? No, actually, in all the years that he has lived next to Kageyama, he doesn’t think he’s ever caught sight of his parents and- oh. OH MY GOD, WHAT IF KAGEYAMA KILLED HIS PARENTS FOR THE LIFE INSURANCE AND THOSE FIGURINES WERE BOUGHT WITH HIS MURDER MONEY!?

            The orange-headed boy spends so much time fretting over hypothetical situations that he does not even realize that he’s already transported himself right up to the front porch of the Kageyama home. In this moment, he feels like a virgin soul offering his supple body for sacrifice to a raging volcano, but he rings the doorbell anyways. He hears the clear bell ring through the air and then everything is silent again.

            “Huh? Maybe he didn’t hear it?” He thinks aloud, his previous fears dissipating.

            He presses on the doorbell again. The ringing resounds through the air once more as he rocks back on his heels. A few seconds pass by and he readjusts his bag with his money inside. Uncomfortable with the awkwardness of the situation, he begins shuffling his feet; disturbing the sand that had collected on Kageyama’s front porch.

            Well, as the saying goes, “Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Hinata rang again. And again. And again. And again with gusto! And once more. Plus another. Add two. Square that number. Quadruple the number. Take the cubed root of the number. Ring more. With more frequency. Multiply it by Avogadro’s number (6.02 X 10^23 for all you non-chemists, Hinata definitely failed that test). At some point, Hinata began ringing it to the tune of one of his favorite songs.

“ _This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer That white gold!”_

            Hinata froze. What came after that? Whatever, cut to the chorus~!

“ _I’m too hot! (HOT DAMN)_

_Called a police and a fireman_

_I’m too hot! (HOT DAMN)_

_Make a dragon wanna retire man~_

_I’m too hot! (HOT DAMN)_

_Bitch, say my name you know who I aaa-AAAHHH!!”_

“AAAAHHHH!” Hinata shrieked as the door slammed open revealing a very pissed off Kageyama.

“Um, Kageyama, er-hi. Hi, Kageyama. I’m here for you know, the thing that happened. Yesterday. ” He stammered out.

Kageyama just sighs; the idiocy of his neighbor knows no limits. “Hinata Shouyou.” He says.

“YES!” Hinata nearly shouts. “What is it?” He asks, a nervous flush coming onto him again with the intensity of the glare directed at him. Oh no, that’s not it. That’s just his face. His blush fades down a few shades.

“You said, and I quote this exactly, “bitch, say my name you who I aaa-AAAHH!” Hinata jumps at Kageyama’s shout. The imitation is on point. “So, assuming that you were talking to me, I replied with your name. I thought maybe if I said it, you might stop that annoying doorbell ringing. Which, really Hinata? Did you have to ring it a thousand times? Not only did you break my glass figures, now you come over here the very next day and harass me? Are you dumb or just evil?” Kageyama waits for the dumbstruck boy in front of him to process. He can practically see the gears churning inside that small head of his.

After a few seconds pass by, Hinata just settles with a confused look on his face, only one eyebrow raised. A moment later, he gets all bright eyed and smiles up at Kageyama, albeit hesistantly. He lets out a small laugh.

“Ha ha, was that supposed to be a joke Kageyama? Nice try, can I come in now? You told me to come by right? ” His question was met with a familiar glare as Kageyama reached out, put his hand on his fluffy orange head and squeezed him as if he was trying to make orange juice out of his shockingly orange head.

“Ow owowowow!! What did I say!” Hinata whined in pain as he was wordlessly dragged inside by a disgruntled raven-haired boy; obviously miffed that his joke had only gotten a “Nice try”.  He thought it had been great, and deserved much better than a ‘nice try’. Hell, he should have gotten a shiny sticker with some dumb pun on it. How pathetic. Kageyama deserves better.

            The clock on the eggshell white walls read, “10:00PM. Psych! Hahaha, very funny Shouyou. Time means nothing in this god forbidden world!”

            At least, that’s how Hinata saw it. Actually it was just a regular clock with birds on it, which would have been awesome had Hinata come to the Kageyama residency to examine their clocks. He sat across from Kageyama who was staring him down from the other side of the small coffee table with his hands folded neatly on top. It was actually nice and cool inside the house, courtesy of modern air conditioning, but Hinata could not stop sweating. In his nervousness he tried to avoid Kageyama’s gaze at all costs. That was due to the superstition that, if he did, he would be immediately reaped of his soul and all of his possessions.

            Hinata opens his mouth and closes it immediately in fear. Dare he disturb this horrible awkward atmosphere? If he does, he is dead. If he doesn’t he will just sit and starve and, oh wait, the outcomes are the same.

            Continuing to avoid Kageyama’s hawk eyes, he reaches into his bag and grabs something. Kageyama leans in, intrigued by this sudden development. With a BANG! and a tiny scream, there is suddenly a jar of money on the table. Kageyama nearly flinches back in shock, but he waits. This could be interesting.

            “So! Kageyama. Please take this.” Hinata stiffens and stretches his arms out further to push the jar towards Kageyama who is quite bewildered by all this. “I dunno if this is enough. Actually I am pretty sure this won’t cover the damages. But, I’ll do something else, too. I’ll even work if you want me to! I mean, you didn’t tell my mom like you said you would so I have to hold up my end of the deal too.” Hinata looks back up from his speech to see what looks like a contemplating expression on Kageyama’s face. Well, that means he did not flat out reject him.

            He hears more than sees Kageyama sigh. With that, the money is already being pushed back to him. Hinata’s hopes slip away like debris in the wind.

 In hindsight, he had known that this amount of money was not enough to even negotiate with. But even so, he had thought that Kageyama would be lenient enough to let him get away with it.

_‘This is so embarrassing’_ he thinks to himself. In a matter of seconds, the awkward pinkish flush travels down his neck again and he can’t seem to move despite really wanting to leave.

“I don’t want your money.” Kageyama mutters. He pushes the jar of bills closer to Hinata to emphasize his point. “What kind of guy do you think I am? I can tell you’ve been saving that up for a while. I’m not evil.”

Hinata perks up at that. His nervous flush lightening as he smiled nervously.

“So I can keep this?” Hinata asks with excitement. He’s all sunshine and happiness as he looks at his kind neighbor

“I just said that you dumbass! Weren’t you listening?!” Kageyama flares up at the sunny boy, but all he receives is smiles. “But, I didn’t say that you get off scotch free. Wipe that smile off your face!”

At this, Hinata deflates a little, but he still has a small half-smile on his face as he puts away his savings. “Awesome! So what’s the deal then? You still haven’t told me.” Hinata waits patiently for a reply. Knowing that he gets to keep his money has him in good spirits.

“I was getting there! Just calm down already!” Kageyama huffs in exasperation. His jolly neighbor was way too quick on his rebounds. “So, I already had someone calculate the damage that you did based on the fair market price of my glass figures and let me just say that you are in some deep, deep shit so listen closely. You destroyed fifteen of various glass figurines. Some of them had been in my family for three generations. These figures each cost between fifty to one hundred and fifty dollars as of today on the fair market. Some of them were collectibles so their value is actually much more than even that. Understand?”

 Hinata was looking at him with a mix of both awe and horror. Awe because he wasn’t dead yet and horror because he was in some deep, deep financial bat guano. He didn’t even know how he should react. Should he take his chances and flee from debt at the tender age of seventeen or should he also strike at his chances and Kow Tow before Kageyama and beg forgiveness? Facing the wrath of his mother, however, was out of the question.

Hinata shrank as he actually did the math. How was he supposed to cover that! Even if he sold all his possessions, including the clothes on his back, he would only make a dent in that.

“So how am I supposed to pay you back? I don’t even have a job!” Hinata screeches, his voice high with panic.

Kageyama was very conflicted at the time. Should he indulge his sadistic side and torment his debtor more, or release him from this prison? A Cheshire cat grin split his face as he thought, _yes, I’m going to do it._

“Hinata Shouyou.”

“Yes!”

“I will give you to the end of spring break to reimburse me through hard labor.”

Hinata looked a bit confused, but he agreed anyways, albeit very hesistantly. “Um, ok.”

“Hinata Shouyou, for the next two weeks or unless I say otherwise, you will come to my house and pay for your mistakes.”

“Yeah, I think?” Hinata had a feeling that this would not end well for him. “But you still didn’t tell me how I’m going to pay.”

“With your body of course.” Kageyama said rather matter-of-factly.

Hinata cringed. The smile on Kageyama’s face screamed serial killer. The only sound that left his mouth was an empty, “oh.” He couldn’t help but giggle as he neared his destination en route to death and destruction.

“Hahaha. Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s funny, Kageyama, but I think that’s pretty illegal in certain countries. And I think this is one of them and oh, okay. Your face is- yeah. Well, cool. But, wow, oh my god. So this isn’t a joke. Aaah. Okaaay.”

“We can start tomorrow if you’d like.” Kageyama suggested, his grin unwavering. Hinata tried to mirror his grin with one of his own.   
            “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” And like the wind, Hinata was gone while Kageyama took a minute to rethink his life’s decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama, hoe, don't do it.   
> But he does it anyways.   
> Seriously, oh my god.   
> Hinata I am so sorry. I can't help my headcanons.   
> I got lazy toward the end and did not beta read. I hope it is still okay. Please leave a comment if there was anything you liked? Didn't like?   
> Or leave Kudos if you think "Wow, yes, Kudos to you and write more please, quickly."  
> Next time on The Odd Job Kid. Hinata begins his first job as a 21st century slave boy.


	3. The Sister's Brother's Alibi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata, ever the gossip, informs his sister of his unfortunate predicament.  
> His shamelessness shocks no one.

            When Hinata woke up, the sun was already high in the sky and shining like a specter in his face. He groaned and put him hand up in a futile attempt to shield the angry specter from his eyes at the short, short distance of ninety three million miles too near. He felt fifty different shades of awful for some reason; which was odd considering that he felt completely fine yesterday-physically that is.

            That was the problem with him. Whenever his mind was in turmoil, it would eventually manifest into some awful physical ailment. The stomach aches he would get before volleyball games could attest to this, he remembers with a grimace.

            Hinata tries to curl back into his sheets again, missing the feel of dreamless sleep already, when his mind begins to rewind. The volleyball. Glass figurines. Angry demon screaming at him. Fear. Partial Nakedness. Fear and embarrassment. Money jar. Walking into Satan’s hairy, hairy clutches. Nice Kageyama followed by Pimp Kageyama. More fear plus the endangerment of the sanctity of his virgin body. The selling of his soul.

His heart rate increases with each memory and- oh god- it’s Kageyama’s demonic face- he feels so violated already.

 Small hands grab at his back and Hinata rockets out of his bed like a fish; flopping on the ground unceremoniously while gasping for breath. “Ack!” He nearly chokes. When his head whips around to see who it is, Natsu’s surprised face greets him instead. But, she recovers quickly enough.

            “Good morning, Sho-chan! Breakfast is done, want some pancakes?” Natsu asks cheerily despite the state that her big brother is in. Nothing could phase this child. “Hmm? What’s wrong? Why’re you on the floor?” She giggles at her brother’s odd state. It’s almost cruel how care-free she is.

            “Afraid, Natsu. Your big brother is very afraid.” Hinata replies, flattening himself further on the carpet of his floor. With every passing second, the carpet begins to act more like quicksand. It’s sucking Hinata in at a rather alarming rate.

            “Afraid?” Natsu looks at him with something that could almost be counted as concern. “Afraid of what?”

            “No, Natsu. It’s fine. Just. I’m just-afraid...” Hinata just sighs at how ridiculous he realizes this is. He, the older brother, being psychologically picked apart by both a man that wasn’t present and his little sister who probably thinks he’s crazy now. “Let’s go get some pancakes. I’ll tell you while we’re eating.”

            “Ok!” Natsu chirps happily, pleased at the prospect of finally getting delicious, sweet pancakes. “Up, up!” She grabs Hinata by the arm and attempts to drag him inch by inch to the dining table. Amazingly enough, she nearly succeeds, but Hinata quickly picks himself up once he realizes in alarm that his skin and the carpet are much too close in composition to match heads and matchboxes.

            “Hot, hot, hot!” He blows on the reddening skin of his arm as if it’s on fire; which it definitely feels like it. Like a little imp, his sister just smiles at him. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought that maybe she was a bit of a sadist.

            His mother had already left for work by the time he and Natsu settled down with their pancakes. They were strawberry and banana- both of their favorites-and they dug in like ravenous hounds. Hinata shoveled pancake after pancake into his mouth, his morning grievances soon forgotten as flapjack after syrupy flapjack flapjacked down his throat to warm his tortured soul. Natsu was not to be outdone, as she nearly matched her older brother bite by bite.

            They chased their pancakes with orange juice, then, and _only then,_ were both siblings fit for any semblance of conversation.

            “Ok,” Shouyou leaned in conspiratorially with his elbows resting on the table, one pancake-caked fork pointed mock-threateningly at his sister. He looked to the left, then the right, then suspiciously once more over his shoulder despite knowing that they were alone. “Alright, Natsu, what I’m about to tell you is highly classified information. You can’t even let mom know. Actually, you _especially_ cannot let mom know, got it?” He narrowed his eyes at her, in an attempt to look Yakuza. However, a short boy with orange bed-head, squinted eyes and a pancake fork were not necessarily the ideal image of a feared Japanese mobster.

            Natsu laughed at his attempt at intimidation and Hinata couldn’t help but smile at her too.

            “Ok! Pinky promise then.” She held out her small pinky finger and Hinata easily interlaced it with his own as they began to sing.

_Pinky promise, Hope to die!_

_Swallow a thousand needles if you lie._

_May it never end with this,_

_And seal it with a Kiss!_

“Muuwah!” They made a kissing sound in unison as they touched their thumbs together to ‘seal the kiss’ and snickered a bit afterwards before releasing their fingers.

In preparation Shouyou took in a deep breath, his chest expanding like a balloon before carefully letting it out. “Alright, so you know Kageyama Tobio, right?” He started it simple enough; Natsu had to know the players before she could even start understand the game.

“You mean… our next-door neighbor?” Natsu asks easily enough.

“Yeah, him. The one who looks like a grim reaper but in human clothing? So something kinda went down between me and him.”

Natsu gasped and leaned closer in interest. Both of the Hinatas were getting really involved in the story. “What happened?”

“So I’m playing volleyball, right? And remember that volleyball game we watched a while back. The one with the boy who had mousse-y hair?” Natsu nods. “Remember his crazy jump serve where it went all BAAATOOOO!?” Natsu nods even more excitedly and Hinata’s grinning widely at this point.

He stands up from the table now; absentmindedly cleaning the leftover banana pancake from his fork. Suddenly, there is a very concentrated look on his face as he gets into the serving position, with newly-clean fork in hand. “So I looked like this, ok, and I throw the ball super high in the air into a perfect arch!” He pretends that there is a volleyball in his hand and lifts it high over his head. “And just when it’s at the very top I run up,” he takes two steps forward, eyes on the imaginary ball,  “jump,” Shouyou leaps forward and swipes at the air wildly,  “and SLAM THE BALL LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN!”

Natsu laughs delightedly and claps a few times for her brother’s outstanding performance. He poses for her and winks which makes her launch into an even louder stream of giggles. “Cool!” Natsu bursts excitedly. Shouyou just bows a few times before sitting back down again; deciding belatedly to pick and nibble at one of the leftover banancakes.

“Yeah!” He agrees. “It would have been cool, wouldn’t it? But, the ball hit my hand funny and ended up flying right into Kageyama’s backyard.” Shouyou winces a little just remembering it-the moment the light faded from his eyes indefinitely.

“OH NO! Shou-chan, you didn’t kill him did you?” Of course, Natsu immediately jumps to the conclusion that her brother had knocked the life out of their neighbor with his colossal serve. Knowing her brother, he probably panicked and hid their neighbor's decaying body in the house somewhere. “Is this why you made me pinky promise!?” Natsu shivered. What if Kageyama’s vengeful ghost had been watching them eat pancakes all this time? Suddenly the room dropped a good ten degrees. Kageyama Tobio confirmed.

Shouyou laughed as his sister shot him a worried and betrayed look. Worried because of the phantom looming around her head, (whispering dark mantras all the while), and betrayed because now she was the accomplice to a murderer. Pinky promises were a fearsome thing.

“Hahaha! Me? Murder Kageyama? That’s real rich, Natsu. You should become a comedian because I AM THE VICTIM HERE! Just listen, okay?” Shouyou waited for his sister to nod slowly in understanding before continuing.

“You know those figurines that he always keeps back there? Well, I kinda broke all of them and, to make a long story short, now he wants me to pay with my body! Can you believe it! He said it like this:” Shouyou flattened his hair and scrunched his eyebrows together into an intimidating glare before lowering his voice an octave. “I’m Kageyama Tobio and you’re going to pay me with your body starting tomorrow. Ha. MWAHAHAHAahuu ahugh!!” He added the evil laugh at the end for prime effect, coughing when his vocal chords began to chafe.

“Just like that.” He coughed out, rubbing his sore throat.

“But, doesn’t that make sense? He just wants you to work for him so you can pay off the things you broke, right? Shouldn’t you be at his house right now, then?” Natsu asked, sharp as a fiddle.

Shouyou blanched at the absolute naivety that his sister had. “No, no, no.” Hinata waves off his sister’s rather sensible interpretation. “You don’t understand! You should have seen his face. He wants me to do _stuff_.” He shudders at the prospect.

Natsu just raises a brow at her brother questioningly. “Yeah, I just said that? He wants you to-” Her brother flails his arms about with a shout cutting her off.

“NO! You don’t get it!” He pulls at his orange locks in frustration and lets his head hit against the table with a dull thunk. Should he really explain this to his sister? “Like, err” he pauses in contemplation. C’mon Shouyou, keep it PG-13. PG-13!

“Like~?” His sister ventures. She grins impishly at him as he begins to color.

“Stop it! I’m thinking!” Why is he getting all flustered? He shouldn’t be the one getting worked up over this. For Pete’s sake, he’s seventeen already! “It’s like, he wants to stick _things_ in me or something…” Shouyou huffs in ever-rising embarrassment while trying to keep the red off his face. What the fuck. 

“…what kind of things?”

He yells. “Aah! I don’t know! Use your imagination. It’s probably like… needles or something. Yeah, needles.” Sure Shouyou, needles. N-E-E-D-L-E-S. Needles. You know, as opposed to the “*Flaming Thunderbolt (of Doom)”.

“Never mind that! Can you do me a favor, Natsu, as a sister to your big brother?” Shouyou tried to put on the biggest and brightest puppy eyes possible. He would not be denied.

“What is it?”

“Can you come with me to Kageyama’s today? Pleeeease? Just this once to make sure I don’t die?” Shouyou beseeched, hands clasped in front of his face in a silent plea. “I’ll buy you a popsicle.”

“Hmm… Two popsicles of my choice and you got a deal.” His little sister winked at him mischievously.

“Alright! Thanks Natsu, you’re a life-saver!” He pulled her into a tight hug and spun her around twice. “Let’s get ready so we can get going soon!”

Knowing that he was safe from the clutches of the devil for at least today, Shouyou skipped out of the house in higher spirits with his guardian sister in tow. One  was happy at the prospect of receiving two of her favorite popsicles while the other felt reassured that his body was secured for the time being. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Allusion to a monk (Drupka Kunley) who promised the path to Nirvana through the use of his dingle, he called it his "Flaming Thunderbolt"  
> How embarrassing. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed some cute interaction between the Hinata siblings! I know I did, since I never miss out on the opportunity to exploit Shouyou's high school mentality. Keepin' it PG-13, people.  
> Next chapter we will get to see Kageyama's reaction to seeing two Hinata's. But is Shou-chan really safe? Find out next time on "The Odd Job Kid"!
> 
> (side note: I believe someone asked for M things in this chap fic. I want other's input. Do you think this story would benefit from it? I've never written stuff like that before, and I originally wasn't planning to, but I would love to know if your thoughts resonate with this.) 
> 
> Thank you to all those that left kudos and reviewed. Hey, I even got some subscribers! How neat! Thank you for your continued support, you are all beautiful people. See ya around!
> 
> Find me on tumblr if you wish @ mileenadelanoche


	4. Double Entendre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to bakageyama's house, we go.

A strong sense of de ja vu overcame Shouyou as he stood, once again, on the front porch of the Kageyama residency. Nearly everything was the same from the position of the sun in the sky to the gritty sand beneath his feet. The only difference, it seems, was that this time his sister was here. Why did he bring her again? He stuck his hands in his lint-lined pockets and stared at the very familiar off-white door in front of him. What… What was going on? What was he getting nervous for?

            “So…” His sister starts. Only his eyes shift to look at her, his body is as stiff as a marble statue. His eyes carry the forsaken gaze of a rabbit in the clutches of a golden hawk, suspended by great talons several hundred meters in the air. In short, they reflected the eyes of a terrified forest critter.

 “Are you going to knock today or…?” Natsu’s speech trails off as her brother finally comes back to his senses; nodding like a chicken. She just looks at him a bit worriedly as he spazzes out.

“Oh gotcha. Yeah, I just kinda blanked out for a second. Haha…I’ll start now.” Shouyou laughs uneasily as he comes face to face with the door once more. He is probably imagining it, but he can very clearly see the following words burned onto the wood:

“- _Abandon all hope, ye who enter here-”_

 He’s sweating now, as his body enters the Inferno. Why was it so easy to knock the day before? Oh right, he had been lost in beauteous song. That, and he hadn’t realized that Kageyama was such a shady and dangerous individual who apparently has as much demonic imagery associated with him as the King of Hell himself.

But it’s now or never, he knocks rather unenthusiastically then suddenly feels like throwing up enough rainbow ribbons to supply everyone for school spirit week.

After waiting for a couple of minutes, Shouyou turns around and shrugs at his sister with an expression that says ‘ _oh welp, what can ya do right?’._

“Well, I guess he’s not home! Guess I can’t work today. Let’s go get popsicles now, Natsu!” In a frazzled rush, he is grabbing his sister by the hand and jogging far, far away from his misfortune. Call him a coward, but according to the stars and the moon, today was a great day to flat out flee and- oh – they stopped moving.  No no, even worse, they were moving back to Kageyama’s house!

“ EEEYAAH! Natsu, oh god, why! Let me chicken out just once! Three popsicles! I will buy you three whole damn popsicles, just let me escape. The moon! The stars! What is this! Betrayal!” Shouyou whines like a child as he is being literally dragged back by the collar- by his sister no less.

“You’re the one that dragged me out here! Now I’m curious. Why are you so afraid of Kageyama anyway? He seems okay…I think. Now go knock for real!” Natsu huffs in exasperation at the puppy eyes that her brother throws at her. She holds her ground with junior-high-hardened eyes.

_Not good enough, Shou-chan._

He takes his defeat like a punch in the gut as he visibly caves in on himself. Of course when it matters most, his ultimate weapon fails him. The walk of shame back to Kageyama’s front porch is short, yet unbearably heavy. The weight of failure and treason catastrophic on the shoulders of a developing seventeen year old boy. He laments his circumstances as he is making his way up the steps for the third time in a week.

“This is it.” He begins, before launching into a self-serving monologue. “It’s the assassination of Hinata Shouyou, Ace of the volleyball. A young man, loved by the people but secretly despised by those always around him!” He turns around to steal a glimpse at Natsu to see if she is listening. It is the pinnacle of absolutely unimpressed, her face is completely unmoved and partially annoyed at her brother’s antics.

“What are you talking about, Shou-chan?” Natsu queries. It is too warm outside to be buying into her brother’s oddities.

“Aha! That’s exactly what a conspirator would say.” He points at his sister accusingly with the addition of an all-too-knowing look from atop the slightly raised porch. He is so engrossed in his story that he doesn’t hear the door behind him open with a ka-chak!

“You see,” he continues from where he left off. “All this time, you were the proverbial man behind the curtain! It was you all along, conspiring with that old fiend Kageyama! Yes, yes. My own flesh and blood conceived my murder on the Ides of Spring Break! Call me Phoenix Wright, because this case is closed! Hahaha-woah.”

 During his long-winded rant, Shouyou had backed up into something rather large and hard that was also pretty warm and definitely not a door. He still had both of his arms raised in triumph like a football goal, but he was feeling a different and sadly familiar emotion; that emotion being trepidation. Without actually thinking it through, he reached back with his arms until they came in contact with something too frightening for human eyes- Kageyama’s face. But, no, he would not acknowledge it. Never in a million years.

This was definitely not the time for experimentation, the older Hinata thought to himself. But, he could not keep his hands from roaming. As if they had a mind of their own, his hands splayed out over surprisingly smooth skin.

“ _Wow, the skin of an angel”_ Shouyou thought to himself. He stiffened; finally stopping in his ministrations as soon as large hands began to heavily weigh down on his shoulders. “ _Please no.”_ His brain whispered. But never have his prayers been answered, why start now?

Slowly, like a revolving door fit with all the niceties of a torture chamber, his frame turns once and amber eyes strike thunderous cobalt.

“ _Wow,”_ The thought strikes him once more. “ _The skin of an angel, but the face of an eldritch abomination.”_ The sudden juxtaposition nearly has him in awe and he does stare in shock for a while until his senses suddenly jump back down to earth like the harrowing.

“H-Hi Kageyajuu! YAMA! Kageyama, I mean.” Hinata stammers out. This is not a good sign, Kageyama is frowning at him.

“I didn’t see you there! You should have, um, said hi or something?” Hinata tries, somewhat belatedly.

“Oh” Kageyama begins with a deadpan face. “Right, I should follow your _prime_ example.” Kageyama stresses the last two words.

“Hold up a sec, Hinata, let me just show up at your house,” He takes his hands off of Hinata’s shoulders to shrug, “and touch you _all_ over in your personal spaces” he leans closer to jazz hands sardonically as Hinata’s face reddens, “and then question you for having an abnormal greeting. Does that sound about right, Hinata? Does it?” Kageyama asks sarcastically.

“Sh-Shut up! I only touched your face! It was an accident!” Hinata defends valiantly, his face red out of humiliation.

Kageyama just grins at him, both eyebrows raised in mock surprise. “Oh? What’s this?” He leans in closer and Hinata shrinks back. “Are you trying to act shy now? You were _so_ _enthusiastic_ about it earlier.”

“Gah!” Hinata blanched, mind too jumbled to form a comeback. Luckily, someone else broke the atmosphere for him.

“Shou, it’s hot outside!” Natsu whined. “Can we come inside, yet?”

“Huh? Who’s that?” Kageyama asked Hinata who took the opportunity to escape the pressure and duck to the safety of his sister.

“I’m Natsu! Nice to meet you, Kageyama!” She exclaimed.

“She’s my little sister.” Hinata elaborated once he was a safer distance from his neighbor. “She’s tagging along.”

“Oh, alright.” Kageyama said, taking it in stride. He knelt down to Natsu who had climbed the steps to his front porch and shook her hand gladly. “Nice to meet you. You’re right, it is pretty hot, let’s get inside already so your brother can do some work for me.”

Natsu looks perplexed at the man who is shaking her hand so courteously. He’s not at all the complete black-mailing pervert her brother described him to be, although, his smile is kind of creepy if you look at it too long. Yeah, no, his face is kind of off right now. Best not to pay it too much mind, then.

“Wait, Natsu, don’t just walk into his house! It could be dangerous!” Hinata warns. Natsu seems to think differently as she pays no mind. Happy to follow their seemingly nice neighbor into his home.

“W-wait! Natsu wait for me!” Hinata scrambled after the receding pair, flattening his body to slide inside the doorway just barely. The cool air-conditioned atmosphere felt great on his sweat-dampened skin and he sighed in relief. He hadn’t realized how hot it had been outside earlier and he was grateful that his sensible sister had come to the rescue when she did.

The domestic scene that greets him is pretty unnerving. Kageyama is pouring juice into a cup. Except he is just squeezing a juice box with vigor. His sister is sitting at the same wooden table where just a day or so ago, he had agonized over his savings. Natsu is kicking her legs beneath the table as Kageyama walks back over, setting some juice on the table for her. She takes it with a polite “thank you” that’s chased by a “not at all”. This is unusual to say the least.

As the door closes shut behind him, the two caught in their domestic scene finally take notice of him, the intruder. His sister just glimpses at him with a huge thumbs up. She must have accomplished something before he came. What it was… that was something he feared. Kageyama is sipping his juice really seriously with his legs crossed over. An eyebrow is raised. What a pretentious little-

“Shou-chan!” Natsu beams excitedly at him and waves him over. He makes the short travel to the table and sits down as far from his kryptonite as possible. Which is basically impossible since his sister already had taken the seat across from him and the square table did not give him many options.

“So,” he begins. Not meeting Kageyama’s eyes. “What do I have to do?” He sighs extra loudly to make sure that Kageyama knows that this is human cruelty and that he is especially annoyed.

“Having problems breathing?” Kageyama teased. He narrowed his eyes at Shouyou who scowled right back. Just to be childish, he inhaled with so much effort that he got red in the face to create an even more obnoxious sigh. Possibly the most ill-mannered, done-with-you sigh to have ever appeared on this earth. Kageyama felt his hair move back as the luke warm air flew past it, again and again.

_Haaaaahhhhhhhhh whooosssshhhhhaaaaaa~_

_I’m not afraid of yoooouuuuuu anymorrreee_

_Haaaaahhhhhhhhh whooosssshhhhhaaaaaa~_

_This is just how I breathe normallyyyy_

_Take that, you pubescent pervert._

_Haaaaahhhhhhhhh whooosssshhhhhaaaaaa~_

Natsu looked nervously at her older brother who seemed to be on the brink of passing out from forced hyperventilation, then at her neighbor who hadn’t blinked in a long time. There was actually something condensing on his face. Spit. Her brother was basically spitting on this guy’s face. In his own home. Looks like it was time to make her escape.

Within the deep realms of Kageyama’s perverse mind, a slow drip of water seeped out from a crack in a rusty pipe.

  1.                             Drip.
  2.                             Drip.
  3.                            Drop.



A droplet of freshly condensed spit collected at Kageyama’s chin and his eyes refocused on an irate ball of fire who was breathing really heavily. Ah, how did it become like this? Hinata was supposed to just come over, maybe help clean a little. Maybe something else. Maybe something else. Maybe something like this or like that. You know, you know.

But, no, there goes Kageyama’s pure intentions. Leaving his body as those free radicals leave the cracked and rusty pipe. Dripping like the sweat drop down his bare skin. There… is so much spit on his face. It has become such a large body of water that it is an official pronoun now.

“Oh.” A small voice seeps into his being and he sees Hinata again, breathing normally now. “I’m sorry, Kageyama, I-your face.” He stops. Why? Why does this always happen.

The pipe broke and water exploded outwards with such force that steam came out of Kageyama’s ears. “Sorry?  My face is so full of your freaking SALIVA that someone else would have thought I was LICKED. Take responsibility, you idiot!” Kageyama paused and composed himself for a few seconds and turned to Natsu who had been watching with her mouth wide open the entire time. “Sorry Natsu, your brother and I have to have a private talk. Can you wait here?”

“Uhh… sure.” Natsu is not quite sure how one should appropriately respond in this situation.

Kageyama rips his shirt off, or rather, very violently pulls it over his head, revealing a beautifully toned body, before roughly wiping his face with it. The Hinatas’ faces drop to the floor in a remarkable show of gravity. Kageyama throws his soiled shirt to the floor with a smack. …Was he… grinning? Is that a grin?

_“Psst, Shou-chan, I have an intense urge to call the fire department.”_

_“Natsu, no. Call the police.”_

In all his half-naked glory, Kageyama Tobio waltzes out of the kitchen towards his bedroom. When he’s halfway there, without even looking back he calls, “Shouyou, come over here.”

“Oh Ok. One second…then.” Shouyou says slowly, attempting to understand whatever the heck just happened.

Kageyama sits in his room with his head in his hands. Once again, he is pondering his poor life’s decisions and his face reddens. What the hell did he just do? His mind supplies him with an answer. You became the emblem of public indecency. Stripping yourself before the eyes of two minors, granted you are a minor yourself. Being around Hinata Shouyou is not proving to be healthy for a young lad like him. Why must he tempt him? Why is there this suffering?

Hinata comes in moments later to a slightly dark room. There are some opaque curtains blocking some of the light from the window and one Kageyama on the bed with his head in his hands.

He reaches to flip on the light switch and is surprised when nothing happens. The room is the same dark it was before. For good measure, he tries it a few more times. Click, clack, click, clack. Wow, same results. “Oh, nevermind.” He turns back around to face his debtor. “Hey, Kageyama…” The air is so awkward… say something already!

“Hinata.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you maybe want to…Will you…” Kageyama hesitates. He pulls out a dark box from behind his back.

Hinata sweats. He does not like where this is going. But his curiosity is piqued. “Do I want tooo…?”

“Dammit. Do you… would you like to, um, you know? Do you want to change this lightbulb with me?” Kageyama coughs. “I mean, I know we don’t know each other that well. But I want you to try this with me. It takes two to tango.”

 _But that doesn’t apply to lightbulbs._ Hinata thinks to himself, but now there is another situation entirely. Any idiot could tell that those words just sounded like marriage or relationship proposals. _Does he want me to play along? Oh, What the hell?_

“I…I do.” Hinata stammers out, a bit of red tinting the apples of his cheeks. He can’t help but look away for a moment. _Gah! That was so embarrassing!_

Kageyama stands up, a furious red dusting his cheeks; his face as cool as a cucumber.  “Cool, let’s get started then.”

 _Why are you blushing? You set yourself up for this._ He internalizes, before looking at the Hinata still suck in the doorway, a pinkish stain on his own face. “Yeah,” Hinata follows, his face completely stern as a businessman. “Let’s _screw.”_ He says through clenched teeth.

Kageyama just stares at him, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

_What’s with that reaction?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, how it's been so long.   
> I'm so sorry I've been gone.   
> I was busy avoiding my responsibilities
> 
> (Not that happy with that chapter, my inspiration has been running dry for this story for some reason, but I just had to get another chapter in before the summer.)  
> Any thoughts? AM I STAGNATING?!  
> ah, Thank you to those who have yet to lose hope. This story is still kicking  
> This is unbeta'd sorry for any glaring mistakes.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated weekly hopefully  
> Please leave me comments or kudos if you think this is rad enough to push a few buttons. I enjoy your recognition. Hopefully you will continue to enjoy this and eagerly await the next installment! Until then!  
> 


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